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This Cartoon Got the Best Political Cartoon Award
Posted by Muhammad Umer On 9:06 AM READ FULL POST
HUGE VIRUS COMING !!! PLEASE READ & FORWARD !!!

Norton Anti-Virus is gearing up for this virus! You should be alert during the next few days. Do not open any message with an attachment entitled 'POSTCARD FROM HALLMARK,' regardless of who sent it to you. It is a virus which opens A POSTCARD IMAGE, which 'burns' the whole hard disc C of your computer.

This virus will be received from someone who has your e-mail address in his/her contact list. This is the reason why you need to send this e-mail to all your contacts It is better to receive this message 25 times than to receive the virus and open it. If you receive a mail called' POSTCARD,' even though sent to you by a friend, do not open it! Shut down your computer immediately. This is the worst virus announced by CNN. It has been classified by Microsoft as the most destructive virus ever.

This virus was discovered by McAfee yesterday, and there is no repair yet for this kind of virus. This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where the vital information is kept. COPY THIS E-MAIL, AND SEND IT TO YOUR FRIENDS. REMEMBER: IF YOU SEND IT TO THEM, YOU WILL BENEFIT ALL OF US...
Posted by Muhammad Umer On 8:54 AM READ FULL POST
Are you being harassed by callers that refuse to identify themselves but yet keep on calling? Are you being bombarded by blank calls?

If so, then maybe it is time to do a little bit of sleuthing to get to the bottom of the matter and maybe spank the bottom of the caller. Here are 4 ways on how to trace a cell phone number.

1-You can get the details of the owner by getting the number from your cell phone call register and then checking it on the online reverse cell phone directory, even if the caller has called from a cell phone.

The chances of locating the owner of that number are quite high and you might have to pay a nominal fee to get access. But there are some sites that offer this service free of charge.

2-If the caller has called from a landline number, then it could be even easier to trace since the city or state code would precede the telephone number. That would narrow down the search considerably.

3-If the caller is calling from an unlisted number and the above methods are unsuccessful in extracting the required data then simply complain to the local authorities such as the police.

Once the caller realizes that you have contacted the authorities, such calls will automatically stop due to fear.

4-If you do not have the patience to do any of the above then simply call back on the same number and point-blank ask the caller about his/her identity and the reason for calling.

If the answers are unsatisfactory then simply let go of the choicest abuses from your verbal arsenal to the caller so that the calls stop instantly.

The above methods can quickly get the caller’s details with or without the payment of a small fee. The Internet can be of great help and if it does not yield results then simply contact the local authorities to reach the bottom of the matter and the caller.
Posted by Muhammad Umer On 12:14 AM READ FULL POST
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee..... 


On his first day, he dialled the kitchen and shouted into the phone: 

"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!" 

The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you've dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?" 


"No" replied the trainee. 


"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!" 


The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you 
IDIOT?" 


"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily. 


"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone .....
Posted by Muhammad Umer On 12:08 AM READ FULL POST
Golden words are not Repeated

your job but don’t love your Company because you may not know when your company stops loving you.
Dr. ABDUL KALAM

What is the Secret of SUCCESS...? "RIGHT DECISIONS"How do you make Right Decisions...? "EXPERIENCE"How do you get Experience... ? "WRONG DECISIONS.
Dr. ABDUL KALAM

Without your involvement you can ' t succeed. With your involvement you can’t fail.
Dr. ABDUL KALAM

You are not responsible for what people think about you. But you are responsible for what you give them to think about you.
STANLEY FERRARD

A man is lucky if he is the first love of a Woman. A woman is lucky if she is the last love of a man.
CHARLES DICKENS

Write your Sad times in Sand, Write your Good times in Stone.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

Behind every successful man, there is an untold pain in his heart.
BILL JACOBS

It ' s better to lose your Ego to the one you Love, than to lose the one you LOVE because of EGO.
JOHN KEATS

Don ' t make promise when you are in JOY . Don ' t reply when you are SAD. Don ' t take decisions when you are ANGRY
Posted by Muhammad Umer On 12:08 AM READ FULL POST

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2008/09/05/world/zardari600.jpg
PROPERTIES OF ASIF ALI ZARDARI – Nation Apr 01, 1998 or 1999

DISCLAIMER:
We have no way in confirming the authenticity of this list, and would appreciate help in confirming some/all items listed here, errors and omissions will be corrected as identified

ZARDARI’S LOCAL ASSETS ARE:

1. Plot no. 121, Phase VIII, DHA Karachi.
2. Agricultural land situated in Deh Dali Wadi, Taluka, Tando Allah Yar.
3. Agricultural property located in Deh Tahooki Taluka, District Hyderabad measuring 65.15 acres.
4. Agricultural land falling in Deh 76-Nusrat, Taluka, District Nawabshah measuring 827.14 acres
5. Agricultural land situated in Deh 76-Nusrat, Taluka, District Nawabshah measuring 293.18 acres
6. Residential plot No 3 (Now House) Block No B-I, City Survey No 2268 Ward-A Nawabshah
7. Huma Heights (Asif Apartments) 133, Depot Lines, Commissariat Road, Karachi
8. Trade Tower Building 3/CL/V Abdullah Haroon Road, Karachi
9. House No 8, St 9, F-8/2, Islamabad
10. Agricultural land in Deh 42 Dad Taluka/ District Nawabshah
11. Agricultural land in Deh 51 Dad Taluka Distt Nawabshah
12. Plot No 3 & 4 Sikni (residential) Near Housing Society Ltd. Nawabshah
13. CafT Sheraz (C.S No.. 2231/2 & 2231/3) Nawabshah
14. Agricultural land in Deh 23-Deh Taluka & District Nawabshah
15. Agricultural property in Deh 72-A, Nusrat Taluka, Nawabshah
16. Agricultural land in Deh 76-Nusrat Taluka, Nawabshah
17. Plot No. A/136 Survey No 2346 Ward A Government Employee’s Cooperative Housing Society Ltd, Nawabshah
18. Agricultural land in Deh Jaryoon Taluka Tando Allah Yar, Distt. Hyderabad
19. Agricultural land in Deh Aroro Taluka Tando Allah Yar, Distt. Hyderabad
20. Agricultural land in Deh Nondani Taluka Tando Allah Yar, Distt. Hyderabad
21. Agricultural land in Deh Lotko Taluka Tando Allah Yar, Distt. Hyderabad
22. Agricultural land in Deh Jhol Taluka Tando Allah Yar, Distt. Hyderabad
23. Agricultural land in Deh Kandari Taluka Tando Allah Yar, Distt. Hyderabad
24. Agricultural land in Deh Deghi Taluka Tando Mohammad Khan
25. Agricultural land in Deh Rahooki Taluka, Hyderabad
26. Property in Deh Charo Taluka, Badin
27. Agricultural property in Deh Dali Wadi Taluka, Hyderabad
28. Five acres prime land allotted by DG KDA in 1995/96
29. 4,000 kanals on Simli Dam
30. 80 acres of land at Hawkes Bay
31. 13 acres of land at Maj Gulradi (KPT Land)
32. One acre plot, GCI, Clifton
33. One acre of land, State Life (International Center, Sadar)
34. FEBCs worth Rs. 4 million

SHARES IN SUGAR MILLS INCLUDE:

1. Sakrand Sugar Mills Nawabshah
2. Ansari Sugar
3. Mills Hyderabad
4. Mirza Sugar Mills Badin
5. Pangrio Sugar Mills Thatta
6. Bachani Sugar Mills Sanghar

FRONT COMPANIES IN FOREIGN COUNTRIES:

1. Bomer Fiannce Inc, British Virgin Islands
2. Mariston Securities Inc, British Virgin Islands
3. Marleton Business S A, British Virgin Islands
4. Capricorn Trading S A, British Virgin Islands
5. Fagarita Consulting INc, British Virgin Islands
6. Marvil Associated Inc, British Virgin Islands
7. Pawnbury Finance Ltd, British Virgin Islands
8. Oxton Trading Limited, British Virgin Islands
9. Brinslen Invest S A, British Virgin Islands
10. Chimitex Holding S A, British Virgin Islands
11. Elkins Holding S A, British Virgin Islands
12. Minister Invest Ltd, British Virgin Islands
13. Silvernut Investment Inc, British Virgin Islands
14. Tacolen Investment Ltd, British Virgin Islands
15. Marlcrdon Invest S A, British Virgin Islands
16. Dustan Trading Inc, British Virgin Islands
17. Reconstruction and Development Finance Inc, British Virgin Islands
18. Nassam Alexander Inc.
19. Westminster Securities Inc.
20. Laptworth Investment Inc 202, Saint Martin Drive, West Jacksonville
21. Intra Foods Inc. 3376, Lomrel Grove, Jacksonville, Florida
22. Dynatel Trading Co, Florida
23. A..S Realty Inc. Palm Beach Gardens Florida
24. Bon Voyage Travel Consultancy Inc, Florida

ZARDARI’S PROPERTIES IN UK ARE:

1. 355 acre Rockwood Estate, Surrey (Now stands admitted)
2. Flat 6, 11 Queensgate Terrace, London SW7
3. 26 Palace Mansions, Hammersmith Road, London W14
4. 27 Pont Street, London, SW1
5. 20 Wilton Crescent, London SW1
6. 23 Lord Chancellor Walk, Coombe Hill, Kingston, Surrey
7. The Mansion, Warren Lane, West Hampstead, London
8. A flat at Queensgate Terrace, London
9. Houses at Hammersmith Road, Wilton Crescent, Kingston and in Hampstead.

ZARDARI’S PROPERTIES IN BELGIUM ARE:

1. 12-3 Boulevard De-Nieuport, 1000, Brussels, (Building containing 4 shops and 2 large apartments)
2. Chausee De-Mons, 1670, Brussels

ZARDARI’S PROPERTIES IN FRANCE ARE:

1. La Manoir De La Reine Blanche and property in Cannes

ZARDARI’S PROPERTIES IN USA — in the name of Asif Zardari and managed by Shimmy Qureshi are:

1. Stud farm in Texas
2. Wellington Club East, West Palm Beach
3. 12165 West Forest Hills, Florida
4. Escue Farm 13,524 India Mound, West Palm Beach
5. 3,220 Santa Barbara Drive, Wellington Florida
6. 13,254 Polo Club Road, West Palm Beach Florida
7. 3,000 North Ocean Drive, Singer Islands, Florida
8. 525 South Flager Driver, West Palm Beach, Florida
9. Holiday Inn Houston Owned by Asif Ali Zardari, Iqbal Memon and Sadar-ud-Din Hashwani

ZARDARI’S BANK ACCOUNTS IN FOREGN COMPANIES ARE:

1. Union Bank of Switzerland (Account No. 552.343, 257.556.60Q, 433.142.60V, 216.393.60T)
2. Citibank Private Limited (SWZ) (Account No. 342034)
3. Citibank N A Dubai (Account No. 818097)
4. Barclays Bank (Suisse) (Account No. 62290209)
5. Barclays Bank (Suisse) (Account No. 62274400)
6. Banque Centrade Ormard Burrus S A
7. Banque Pache S A
8. Banque Pictet & Cie
9. Banque La Henin, Paris (Account No. 00101953552)
10. Bank Natinede Paris in Geneva (Account NO.. 563.726.9)
11. Swiss Bank Corporation
12. Chase Manhattan Bank Switzerland
13. American Express Bank Switzerland
14. Societe De Banque Swissee
15. Barclays Bank (Knightsbridge Branch) (Account No. 90991473)
16. Barclays Bank, Kingston and Chelsea Branch, (Sort Code 20-47-34135)
17. National Westminster Bank, Alwych Branch (Account No. 9683230)
18. Habib Bank (Pall Mall Branch).
19. National Westminster Bank, Barking Branch, (Account No. 28558999).
20. Habib Bank AG, Moorgate, London EC2
21. National Westminster Bank, Edgware Road, London
22. Banque Financiei E Dela Citee, Credit Suisse
23. Habib Bank AG Zurich, Switzerland
24. Pictet Et Cie, Geneva
25. Credit Agricole, Paris
26. Credit Agridolf, Branch 11, Place Brevier, 76440, Forges Les Faux
27. Credit Agricole, Branch Haute – Normandie, 76230, Boise Chillaum

Posted by Muhammad Umer On 10:22 PM READ FULL POST
















Posted by Muhammad Umer On 9:46 PM READ FULL POST

AN EXCELLENT EXAMPLE OF HIJAB
{ Difference between Covered & Uncovered Lady }




One day the maulvi with his wife in Hijab and the English (Gora) were traveling together in the train.
Gora asked maulvi: why you people covered your wife from head to toe?
Maulvi started thinking............ suddenly he picked up one lemon from his pocket cut it half with knife.
Maulvi asked Gora : Do you know what is this?
Gora : hmmm...yumyum...Yes I know, this is a lemon.
Maulvi : No....this is my lemon, till it was in my pocket your mouth didn't watered but as soon I took it out and cut it, you wanted to taste it, similarly when women is covered from head to too, no one will think about her but if she removes her hijab then every one will think to make her own,
and
Gora got convinced with maulvi's example.
Posted by Muhammad Umer On 12:59 AM READ FULL POST


Take a look.... This has been told 1400yrs ago!!!!
* Camels will no longer be used as a means of transport;
* The distance on earth will become short;
* Muslims will defeat the Byzantines which will end with the conquest of Constantinople Istanbul);
* Very tall buildings will be built;
* Adultery will become widespread, and the drinking of wine will become common;
* Islam will become worn out like clothes are, until no one will know what fasting, prayer, charity and rituals are;
* People will begin to believe in the stars and reject AL QADAR (THE DIVINE DECREE OF DESTINY);
* The Euphrates will uncover a mountain of gold for which people will fight over (the river of Alfurat that lies near Syria );
* Approximately 30 DAJJALS will appear, each one claiming to be the messenger of ALLAH;
* Afflictions will appear;
* Wealth will increase;

* People will ride on saddles that aren't saddles (cars?)
* Horses will not be used in wars;
* The Jews will gather again to live in Bilad Canaan;
* The disappearance of knowledge and the appearance of ignorance, with much killing;
* The number of men will decrease and the number of women will increase until there are 50 women to be looked after by one man.
* Allah will send a disease to fornicators that will have no cure (Aids?);
* Men will pass by people's graves and say: 'Would that I was in his place'; (large amount of suicidal deaths?)
* Two large groups of people will fight one another, and there will be many casualties; they will both be following the same religion World War II?);
* Earthquakes will increase; * Time will pass quickly;
* Killing will increase;
* Women will be wearing clothes but not wearing clothes

THE PROPHET (saw) SAID: 'IF MY UMMAH BEARS 15 TRAITS (QUALITIES),
TRIBULATION WILL FOLLOW IT.' (DAY OF JUDGEMENT) SOMEONE ASKED,

'WHAT ARE THEY O MESSENGER OF ALLAH?' HE (saw) SAID:
* When any gain is shared out only among the rich, with no benefit to the poor;
* When paying ZAKKAT becomes a burden;
* When the leader of a people is the worst of them; when people treat a man with respect because what he may do;

* When a trust becomes a means of making profit;
* When voices are raised in the mosque;
* When much wine is drunk; red wind or the earth swallow them, or to be transformed into animals.'
* 'IMRAN IBN HUSAYN SAID: 'THE PROPHET (AS) SAID, 'SOME PEOPLE OF THIS UMMAH WILL BE SWALLOWED BY THE EARTH, TRANSFORMED INTO ANIMALS, AND SOME WILL BE BOMBARDED WITH STONES'. ONE OF THE MUSLIMS ASKED, WHEN WILL THAT BE O MESSENGER Of ALLAH?' HE SAID, 'WHEN SINGERS AND MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS WILL BECOME POPULAR, AND MUCH WINE IS DRUNK.'' THE GREATER SIGNS OF THE HOUR The Quran will disappear in one night, even from the people's hearts, and no Ayah will be left on earth. (Some groups of old people will be left who will say: 'We heard of fathers' saying 'LAILLAHA ILLA ALLAH' so we repeat it);
* The appearance of the MAHDI;
* The appearance of the DAJJAL (Anti Christ); * The appearance of Ya'juj and Ma'juj (biblical Gog and Magog);
* Isa (Jesus) will come during the time of Dajjal;
* The rising of the sun from the west;
* The destruction of the Ka'ba and the recovery of its treasures;
* The smoke.

Muslim ,
If we could get arrested for being a
Would
The police have enough evidence to bring us in?
Why is it so hard to tell the truth but yet so easy to tell a lie?

Why we are so sleepy in mosque but right when the prayer is over, we suddenly wake up?
Why is it so hard to talk about Allah but yet so easy to talk about nasty stuff?
Why is it so boring to look at an Islamic Article but yet so easy to look at a nasty one?
Why is it so easy to delete a Godly e-mail but yet we forward all of the nasty ones?
Why the mosques are getting smaller, but yet the dance clubs are getting larger?
Posted by Muhammad Umer On 12:53 AM READ FULL POST
A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment.
A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?" The salesman explained
"When I got posted in the Middle East , I was very confident that I would make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through three posters...
 




First poster: A man lying in the hot desert sand...totally exhausted and fainting.
Second poster: The man is drinking our Cola.
Third poster: Our man is now totally refreshed.
And Then these posters were pasted all over the place
"Then that should have worked!" said the friend.



"The hell it should had!? said the salesman. Didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left"
Posted by Muhammad Umer On 12:43 AM READ FULL POST
What is the first thing that WOMEN do after a bad car accident?


Turn off the ignition?

NO


Get away from the car in case it explodes?

NO




Call 911 on her cell phone?

NO


Call ambulance??????


CERTAINLY NOT….



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 woman accident
Posted by Muhammad Umer On 3:51 AM READ FULL POST

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff,"

-- Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president," -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"

-- A congressional candidate in Texas.

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."

-- John Wayne

"Half this game is ninety percent mental." -- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

-- Al Gore, Vice President

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."

-- Dan Quayle

" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or another"

-- George Bush, US President

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

-- Lee Iacocca

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version," -- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein," -- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."

-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

-- Bill Clinton, President

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

-- Al Gore, VP

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."

-- Keppel Enderbery

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

-- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

-- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

"If we let the loggers go in and cut down all the trees we wouldn't have a problem with forest fires."

Posted by Muhammad Umer On 3:41 AM READ FULL POST
paki police
pakistani funny police
funny police
paki funny
pakistani fun
Posted by Muhammad Umer On 3:14 AM READ FULL POST


American Lawyers

lawyers world
New Zealand Lawyers

advocates

Chinese Lawyers

attorney

and .................


Pakistani Lawyers !!


pakistani lawyers

funny lawyers

lawyers are idiots

hot lawyers


advocate fun

funny attorney

lawyers are fool
Posted by Muhammad Umer On 2:26 AM READ FULL POST
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